Clear-Coding: Why Saying What You Want Is the New Dating Superpower
Clear-coding replaces mixed signals with warm, respectful honesty. Here is how to state what you want without turning a date into an interview. [...]
Planning Your First Weekend Away Together
A first weekend away can deepen a relationship because ordinary habits become visible. It can also create pressure if expectations, money and privacy have not been discussed. Wait for basic trust You should have spent enough time together to understand communication, boundaries and how each person [...]
The Most Attractive Quality Nobody Talks About Anymore
Ask a group of singles what they find attractive in a partner and you’ll usually hear many of the same answers. Confidence will be near the top of the list. A good sense of humour is almost always mentioned. Kindness, intelligence, ambition and physical attraction all receive plenty of [...]
Why Modern Dating Feels Exhausting (And How to Enjoy It Again)
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me they were tired of dating, I’d probably be writing this article from a beach somewhere instead of my desk. It’s one of the most common themes I hear at speed dating events, in emails from readers and during conversations with friends. [...]
The Truth About Mixed Signals — Most People Are Simpler Than You Think
Few topics create more confusion in modern dating than mixed signals. Hardly a week goes by without someone asking me to interpret a text message, explain why someone suddenly became quieter, or help them understand what they believe are contradictory behaviours. “She said she had a lovely [...]
What Secure People Do Differently During the First Five Dates
If there’s one thing I’ve learned after years of introducing singles and watching thousands of first conversations unfold, it’s that confidence and security don’t always look the way people imagine they will. Popular culture often suggests that the most attractive person in [...]
Why So Many Good Relationships End Before They Really Begin
One of the saddest conversations I have with singles isn’t about terrible relationships. It’s about the ones that never really had the chance to become anything at all. Every so often someone will tell me about a person they met who was kind, attractive, intelligent and easy to spend [...]
When Early Honesty Brings People Closer Instead of Driving Them Away
One piece of dating advice has always made me uncomfortable, and I still hear versions of it today. It usually goes something like this: “Don’t reveal too much about yourself too early. Keep them guessing. Don’t let them know how interested you are. Hold a little bit back because [...]
The Hidden Cost of Constantly Looking for Someone Better
One of the greatest paradoxes of modern dating is that we’ve never had more opportunities to meet people, yet so many singles tell me they’ve never found dating more exhausting. On the surface, it doesn’t seem to make sense. We can meet people through dating apps, social events, [...]
Why Emotional Safety Is Becoming More Attractive Than Physical Chemistry
When I first started introducing singles to one another, I noticed that almost every conversation about attraction began in exactly the same place. People would describe the sort of person they were physically drawn to. They’d talk about height, smiles, hair colour, fitness, style or the kind [...]
The Difference Between Healthy Boundaries and Impossible Expectations
One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed in the dating world over the past decade is how often people talk about boundaries. In many ways, that’s a wonderful thing. For years, too many people stayed in unhealthy relationships because they believed they had to tolerate behaviour that made [...]
Why Being “Too Nice” Still Doesn’t Create Attraction
One of the most common frustrations I hear from singles, particularly men but occasionally women as well, is a variation of the same sentence. “I don’t understand it. I’m a really nice person, but I never seem to attract the people I’m interested in.” It’s a [...]
The Biggest Mistake People Make When Listing Their Dating Standards
If there’s one conversation I’ve had more times than I can count over the years, it’s about dating standards. Whether I’m chatting to someone at one of my speed dating events, answering emails from readers, or simply catching up with friends over coffee, the subject comes up [...]
Why Healthy Relationships Feel Different To Toxic Ones
One of the most surprising things that happens when people move from a toxic relationship into a healthy one is that they often feel confused. That might sound strange. After all, shouldn’t a healthy relationship immediately feel better? In many ways it does. There is usually less drama, less [...]
The Biggest Mistakes Men Make On First Dates
First dates can be exciting, nerve-racking, hopeful, and occasionally awkward. Most men genuinely want a first date to go well. They want to make a good impression, enjoy the experience, and hopefully create enough connection for a second date to happen. The interesting thing is that most first [...]