I think about love in my life a lot – in fact, I’m sometimes consumed by thoughts of love. Maybe that’s why I decided to write this dating blog! Anyway, I’ve learned over the years to quietly ponder thoughts, and introspect to find answers. When I was sitting quietly the other day, reflecting on my past few years of life, I worked out that every failed relationship in my life thus far has taught me something, and has helped me to become more mature emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I also worked out that sometimes losing love can be a positive thing. And so naturally I have to write about this!

All of us are born with certain character traits, and some of us are more open to feelings than others. With time, our ability to understand people and understand our own emotions increases. I’m certainly noticing that I have an ever-changing outlook and understanding about love – and that as my years of age increase, my ability to understand love increases also.

As a teenager, I had an understanding of love that was fun, adventurous, free spirited, and somewhat random. As an adult, I’ve realised now that love should be more about commitment, honesty, trust, humility, and kindness. Knowing that now helps me to understand why some relationships I had in the past didn’t go the distance. I thought love was meant to last forever – but I wasn’t exercising those love traits that I now acknowledge as a mature person, in my earlier relationships. I wasn’t always honest, trustworthy, humble, kind, or committed. And it’s a shame – because I’ve lost love that need not have been lost.

Breakups are hard. Losing love is hard – and the repercussions can go on for years afterwards. But whilst I’m sad over some of the girls I’ve clearly hurt or not bonded with well enough in the past, every love I’ve lost has helped to give me new perspectives on my own feelings, and the feelings of others. This is useful input for current and future relationships. I like to think that “I get better and better at dating, with every soured relationship”. Sounds bleak – but it’s probably true.

If you’ve lost love, recently or in the past, keep your chin up. The more of these lost-love experiences you have, the better your future relationships can become. The more life lessons you learn through experience, the better you will be able to have empathy with others going through similar situations. Maintain positive thoughts at all time – a more positive relationship is just around the corner. Losing love is ok – but don’t lose hope!