How to Win Dating Mind Games

Some women play dating mind games, for the sole purpose of getting men to chase them. As an upfront guy, I’m not a fan of mind games or being manipulated, so I thought I’d write a brief article about this to help others.

Girls like to be approached by guys, and many want the guys to do all the work. This hasn’t really changed in hundreds of years. I call this tactic from women “qualifying you”. She’s trying to work out if you’re going to put in effort to secure her, to filter out guys who just want easy sex as opposed to a relationship. So we guys do need to put in SOME effort. Suck it up. Really this is more of a test than a game, but it’s one you need to pass.

But… a guy should never appear needy or desperate (even if you are). Girls can play games like taking ages to text you back – so that you’ll text her again and be on the hook for her bait. Some girls are legitimately busy, but the ones that play mind games need to be taught not to be unkind… so don’t concern yourself about time lag. The only thing you should really be caring about in the first 1-10 texts is whether this girl will actually meet up with you. Text is a fine way to ascertain that, and whether she takes 10 minutes to get back to you or two days, you shouldn’t really care. Don’t chase her unnecessarily on text, because you could look desperate.

Some girls like to keep you on the hook, by agreeing to meet with you then dropping you a text a few hours before you were due to meet up saying “Sorry, I can’t make it”. That can be annoying and disheartening for you. If it happens once AND she makes an alternative time or day for you to meet up, forgive her and look forward to your next opportunity to meet. But… if she cancels dates more than once then you’ll know she’s either playing games or is simply not into you. Maybe she’s found a better date on Tinder, or a guy with more money? In any case, you’re being played… don’t join in!

So, what if you’ve managed to get a girl to go out with you, and you’re in the getting to know her phase? What danger signs do you need to look for that she’s playing mind games with you?

RED ALERT, RED ALERT: If a girl you hardly know wants you to buy things for her, or seems to be dating you just for your money, run away. There’s no problem going for dinner and you paying – but if she’s being sneaky and saying “let’s go to this NICE restaurant” – (read expensive!), and then dropping lots of hints over dinner like “it would be so cool if you’d buy me that bracelet I saw today”, or outright “can you buy me that iPad I want?”, then you might have a gold-digger on your hands. Girls that undertake this kind of mind manipulation might flirt with you or even have sex with you to get what they want materially from you. These girls are never good long term partners, and are generally far too selfish to emotionally connect to you. She likes you – but only for your money! Run, run, run!

When a girl you’re out with is overtly and very openly flirting with other guys, this is normally to make you jealous – or to keep you in line. A girl making comments to another guy is no big deal, but if she starts touching that guy or stroking his arm, or clearly preening herself and looking into his eyes, then smell the smoke. Whether she’s trying to deliberately make you jealous or not, this behavior is disrespectful to you. She might be looking for a reaction from you. Whilst you might not be joyous inside, don’t show your jealousy. If you show your jealousy, she wins – and then she can use that reaction as a way to justify getting out of the relationship and going to the other guy. Instead, intervene in a safe and caring manner by saying “oh there you are darling. Wow, I love you so much! Oh, who’s your friend there?”. That should put an end to her flirting pretty quickly… and you win the game!

Hopefully reading my Dating Dave blog will help you to attract the right woman for you, who is respectful and not playing mind games with you. From my own years of personal experience, when girls treat you disrespectfully, the best thing you can do is drop them completely from your mind, and move on. All games have winners – but you don’t want to be the loser who keeps playing the game when you can never win. Don’t chase any girl that won’t give you that respect back. Just concentrate on being an awesome and confident guy, and you’ll attract equally awesome girls!