Being a dating site, I’m not generally in favour of paid escort services. I have nothing personally against escorts, but I hope that people may just naturally meet a partner through general dating – and not one that they have to pay. In my eyes, true partnerships breed love. Escorts breed lust. That said, I thought it would be good to talk with an escort to find out their views. It was a really interesting chat – their views are outlined below.
Tip 1: Read about us / our services before asking us dumb questions.
“Do read an escort’s ad copy or website pages before contacting us, and before booking us. Almost all of the answers to your questions will be there. When we meet with you we are there to offer our services, not speak for minutes or hours about what you can or can’t do with us.”
Tip 2: Don’t disrespect escorts or waste our time.
“I don’t want to look at your dick photos, unless you’re paying me to do so. I don’t want to have sex chats with you either on email or text. And don’t send me texts like “How much for a xxxxxx?” either. Read my bio / website, make a booking. I’m comfortable with questions like “Can I make a booking for Tuesday evening with you?”.
Tip 3: Cash is king, cash is always preferred.
“Whilst a parlour may take credit cards, I prefer to keep my activities more discrete and away from the eyes of others. Therefore cash is always going to be welcome. It takes a lot of time for me to get ready for you and to set aside time to meet with you, so respect me by being a big boy and going to the ATM or bank to get some cash out to bring. I don’t take Paypal. And yes, I want payment up front. Why? Withholding payment after the fact is effectively rape – you’ve tricked me into giving consent.”
Tip 4: Cleanliness is required.
“Most sex workers will offer you a shower on arrival. Do NOT decline it – that’s so rude. If we’ve showered and got ready to get intimate with you then the least you can do is show us some respect by showering. Likewise, if I say a condom is mandatory then I DO expect you to wear one. And if you have any nasties lurking in your nether-regions, I do have the right to decline you of my services.”
Tip 5: Clearly communicate your needs – do NOT assume.
“If you’re interested in any kind of BDSM or punishment, communicate this at the start of the session (or before). Many years ago I had a man hit me in the face in the middle of a session – and everything stopped. He said “Oh I’ve seen this in movies so I thought it was ok.” I had to educate him that movies are just that, and also that we’re not mind readers. Most sex workers are open to fulfilling your fantasies but you must tell us what you want and get our consent. Yes, there are SOME things I just won’t do.”
Tip 6: You’re buying a service, not ME.
“When you come to see me, you are not buying a person; you are not buying a body; you are not buying me. You’re simply buying a service from me. At the end of the day I take my body home. I have not given you my body. I have not sold you my autonomy. Paying me for a sexual service is not an all-access pass to do whatever you want with me. I’m a human being – and I expect to be treated with common decency and respect at all times.”
Hopefully the tips above are useful for you if considering escort services.
Read More: Do You Need a Wingman When Dating?