When you consider it, single parents seem to have so much to do that they should not be allowed to have relationships. With their jobs, household chores, and child raising, 24 hours does not seem enough time in a day to get everything done – let alone make time for a date / partner / lover. However, as humans we all have a need for connection with others, and loving relationships are great for re-establishing your spirit and overall zest for life. So on this basis, single parents SHOULD date. It’s all about time prioritisation however, and investing your time (and heart) wisely.

A single parent should always consider their children when dating. You should try and avoid sex-only type dates where you are with a different man or woman every week. Look for a long term relationship, and work hard to make each encounter worthwhile – e.g. aim for a stable and caring life partner. Sure, you could go out and do the traditional dating stuff, and you could even get your sexual needs met, but you’ll find the hassle to do so tiring – and it’s simply not fulfilling. You are time poor: make every date count.

When you date as a single parent, you need to plan in advance a little. Always make sure your children have a babysitter and are safe, whilst you pursue a relationship. It’s perfectly acceptable to date as the guardian of children, but be aware of your responsibilities, and keep disciplined in your approach. You can’t go out every night in search of love, when you have child rearing responsibilities. It’s not fair to you, your child, or anyone you meet.

Also, when you think you’ve found that special someone who will likely be around for a while, think carefully about whether that person is introduced to your children. Children like to feel safe and secure and you don’t want them to get frightened off by mummy or daddy being seen to be with lots of different adults. That will do no good for your family relationships in the medium term.

I hear you saying “Dating Dave, that sounds so boring! Can’t I have a bit of fun?”. Sure you can, but you also need to realise that you gave up some of your rights to act as a “single” when you got pregnant or fathered a child. When your children are older, dating activities can revert to more “single” type stuff – but when young children especially are involved, you need to keep things as simple as possible. Always date with the mindset that you are looking for a genuine partner that wants to be there long term.

So, to clarify my thoughts on this, yes, go out and date! Go out and have fun! But make sure that you balance any dates / events / night time liaisons with your family responsibilities. There’s no point fixing one part of your life whilst damaging other areas of it.

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