When you live apart from your partner, it’s important to keep your relationship spark alive. Whether they are in Takanini and Green Bay, or Boston and New York, relationships have up and down moments. Keeping your relationship going strong can require effort – but it’s definitely worth it. It’s never too late to work on your relationship. Never let go of hope! Here are a few tips that can help you to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

Tip one: LISTENING. Listening to your partner is really important, and can help you build closeness and connection. During any conversation, give your partner eye contact and stop any other activities. Fully focus on them and be attentive and empathetic to what they’re telling you.

Tip two: DATING. Planning spontaneous dates is fun. A date is not a trip to the supermarket! So be creative. Have a candlelit dinner, go on a boat cruise, play mini golf together, go dancing, or go and watch comedy. Whatever you do, make sure it’s something fun and light hearted that you both enjoy.

Tip three: TRAVEL. Go away somewhere for the weekend. Go camping, swimming, or simply go on a road trip for a day or overnight. Trying new spaces and new places can provide a great break from everyday routines. Dedicate quality time to each other and watch your love blossom!

Tip four: DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TOGETHER. Get out of your routines and try something you’ve always wanted to do – even if you have a touch of fear. Shared experiences can really help you to bond. You can climb mountains together, go to the gym, train for a fun run or marathon, or learn to paint. It really doesn’t matter what you do: just do it together!

Tip five: SUPPORT EACH OTHER. This is so important – you’ve got to be your partner’s biggest fan! Over time, little niggles you have about your partner can become visible – so to overcome this, concentrate on their positive points and what attracted you to them in the first place. See the funny side of their face touching habit. None of us is perfect, so don’t expect perfection in your partner! When your partner tells you their dreams, don’t shoot them down. Support them, just like you’d want to be supported. It’s so important to support each other in your dreams and aspirations.

Tip six: SAY THANK YOU. Show gratitude for your partner, and for their many good points. People who complain in relationships erode trust and love, and end up feeling emotionally bankrupt over time. When you see your partner doing something you appreciate, give her praise and good words over it. Acknowledging your partner’s contributions will make them feel good about themselves – and good about you too.

Tip seven: USE PET NAMES. Remember when you first started dating and you gave your partner a pet name or affectionate name like “babe” or “munchkin” or “sexy one”? Get back into the habit of acknowledging your partner with one of these, or their name. Get out of the habit of saying “hey you”, “oi”, and other meaningless words to attract their attention.

Tip eight: DISCUSS YOUR CONCERNS. If you have any issues with your relationship, don’t bottle them up. Make time with your partner to openly and honestly discuss things with them… “it’s our time”. Have any chats in a neutral inviting space – and NEVER in the bedroom. The bedroom is for intimacy, cuddles and sex – and NOT for discussions. Keep it sacred.

Tip nine: REACH OUT AND TOUCH. It’s so important to hug and touch each other. Physiologically this causes a release of oxytocin in the blood, which can help to calm you both, and reduces the stress hormone cortisol. Regular hugging and touching, including hand holding, can be very positive.

Tip ten: REVISIT YOUR STARTING PLACE. Over time, if your relationship feels a bit stale, go back and revisit those first areas that you met in, and had positive experiences in. When you’re in a new relationship, there’s plenty of fantasies, desires, and infatuation moments – so going back and revisiting these places can help to reignite these earlier feelings. Remind yourselves of why you’re together, and how far you’ve come together too.

Tip eleven: REVEAL YOUR SECRETS. Trust is so important in any relationship. Telling your partner secrets you’ve never revealed is a great way to build trust. You’ve got to be in a welcoming and non-judgmental relationship for this to work, but when it does you’ll build a great emotional bond.

Tip twelve: ALLOW PERSONAL SPACE. Whilst it’s great to be together, creating some emotional and personal space for each other from time to time can help you better appreciate your time together. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and there is truth in this. Allow yourself some time apart to rediscover your hobbies and passions, and work on your self-development and self-fulfillment. When you’re with your partner, share your dreams and goals and how you’re progressing, and then work out how best to support each other in achieving your full potential!

Let me know how you get on applying these tips in your relationship. I’m always available for follow up, and I love hearing from my readers!