Are you really trying to piss off your girlfriend, guys? Because if so, I have a plan that’ll help you get the cold shoulder for weeks! All you have to do is completely destroy her birthday! Want to learn how? Here are a few sure fire ways to really send her through the roof on a day that should be all about her.

Completely forget it’s her birthday. There is no better way to ruin her birthday then to just completely forget it all together. If you do this, you’re guaranteed to get in deep trouble. Don’t get her anything, don’t say “happy birthday”, and you’ve just punched your ticket to calling the couch your bed, my friend!

Get her the worst gift imaginable. Do you really want to go see the Eagles play the Giants this weekend? You should get your lady two endzone seats for her birthday. She’s sure to see through your charade. Maybe you could get her that new impractical sports car, in your name.

When throwing a party, make sure to invite someone she hates. Inviting her ex boyfriend or an old friend of hers she has refused to talk to for years will definitely make her think you’re the moronic, selfish pig her parents told her you are.

Take her out to the least expensive place in town. Maybe she really hates Sizzler or Denny’s. Both are great choices for you to take her out to for her birthday. Or maybe you could just stop and pick up Taco Bell on the way home. She’ll definitely think you love your bank account more than her.

So remember, fellas, if you’re trying to ruin her special day this year, any one of the above tactics will certainly land you in the doghouse. Although, if you don’t want to selfishly ruin a day that is supposed to be about her, you should avoid these tips all together.