Talking seems like a natural, ingrained talent that humans have. In fact, you could even say that it is our oldest profession. Then why is it that every time strangers are hanging out, the list of things to say runs out so quickly? Why are we left with that killer awkward silence? Then, in an attempt to scramble out of the silence, we find any stupid thing to talk about until that story line runs dry and we’re back at the awkward silence. This can kill a date, as it gets uncomfortable and makes hanging around the other person a literal chore.

The fact of the matter is, we only run out of things to talk about when we get nervous or uncomfortable. Try starting a conversation by just making an observation about your surroundings. The good thing about your surroundings is that you are both there and able to make comments on it. It could be something like mentioning the quality of the food you’re eating, talking about how much you like the bar you’re at, or something silly like how ridiculous one of the other people there is dressed.

Once these present conversations get rolling, they’ll branch out into discussing related things that aren’t there. The conversation about the food you’re eating turns into talking about how you’ve always wanted to become a chef, talking about the bar you’re at turns into talking about your favorite drunk stories, and making silly remarks about the guy in the corner who is dressed funny can turn into discussing funny stories. It’s always good if the conversation gets a little silly, because then you’ll start laughing and becoming comfortable around each other. From there, it should flow like a river.

But if a silence does come up, don’t freak out. Sometimes the silence is just a moment to think about what was just said, and if you’re constantly looking for things to talk about you’ll look even more uncomfortable than if you had just sat there in silence. Typically, if you’re a guy, being silent for a moment isn’t unusual. It’s the lady you have to watch for. Get her talking and hope she doesn’t stop.

Keep in mind that the conversation should flow forward. Don’t think back to things too far back, or it’ll look like you don’t have much to say. Talking about the same thing all night makes you look obsessive and not creative. Also, don’t sit there thinking of something to say while you’re already on a current topic, or you’ll look like you weren’t really listening.