Falling In Love With Your Best Friend?

You often see guys or girls on TV, falling in love with their best friend. Normally this occurs over a period of time, and starts with basic chemistry then grows as the individuals realise they have things in common. As you watch episode after episode of a series, you root for their love to bloom until they actually become a couple. But what happens when you find yourself in the exact same situation? And will you even identify what’s happening? Here’s a set of steps that typically occur when falling in love, to help you navigate the pathway from best friend to partner:

Step 1: The deep exchanges of information. There’s a reason why they’re your best friend right? You can tell them just about anything. As you discover you have feelings in their presence and are vulnerable, you’re wondering if they’d be more than just good best friend material. After all, no one understands you quite as much as they do.

Step 2: Accidental flirting. Whether your friend lets you lean on their shoulder for a good cry or surprises you with your favorite treats during your bad days, you’re wondering if they’re just being nice – or if they have less than pure intentions. There’s a boundary that’s not always clear between friendliness and flirting. Maybe your friend is secretly interested in you.

Step 3: The memories. Both of you hang out together all the time, so when people start commenting on your Facebook or Instagram asking what’s really going on between the two of you, it might start to concern you. But when you see something your friend likes, you start to think of them more often – and then start wishing you really were more than friends. People’s comments may not be so off-target anymore!

Step 4: Jealousy. Do you get jealous readily when your friend starts going on date nights with others, or goes and talks to brand-new faces at your local bar – even though they’re “single”? If you’re feeling possessive towards them, perhaps you’re secretly falling in love with them, and want their time and affection just to yourself.

Step 5: The truth. It’s finally dawned of you. You’ve checked in with your feelings, and now there’s no way of stopping your feelings towards your best friend. How else do you explain your sleepless nights when they were on your mind, or why you always move other commitments or appointments just to hang out with them? You’re hooked… pure and simple.

Step 6: The confession. Oh oh. You’ve best realised that you like each other more than friends. You admit it to each other, but secretly you’re both wondering if this will threaten your relationship that took months or years to build. It’s ok – if your relationship is strong, you’ll survive just fine! Still, it can be an unsettling time, and you may not be sure which direction to take.

Step 7: The what-if’s and negotiations. This is normally the final stage that best friends enter when they finalise their decision about whether they proceed together to a path of love, sexual union, or partnership.Circumstances like timing, objectives, and locations play a part here. Some friends agree to just be friends only – and that’s ok. Others take the exciting gamble of a better and deeper life together… is that you?

Regardless of the decisions you make, know that best friends are hard to come by. Cherish all the memories you’ve made together, and always vouch to be honest with each other about your feelings. If you fall in love, that’s awesome – the best partners are often those that were best friends first. But if not, and you partner with someone else over time, remember that there’s no harm in having your best friends with you at your wedding or any other special occasions, and throughout your life!