Tantra is an interesting word, and something you’ll hear often in couples therapy and sexual psychology discussions – or so I’m told. Tantric sex is a technique for making love that is known for its incredible intensity, and for producing “whole body” orgasms of minutes rather than seconds for some participants. Given that the average male orgasm lasts only 7 seconds, and the average female orgasm lasts about 20 seconds, then the thought of having a pleasurable shaking body for minutes sounds amazing! No wonder there’s so much interest in this technique these days.

Couples (not necessarily long term partnered or monogamous either) I’ve talked to have told me that their orgasms no longer just come from their genitals, but from their entire bodies. One described feeling the orgasms right through their body including in their finger tips and toes…. that’s powerful! Apparently the cool down afterwards is amazing too.

Based on ancient Indian love making traditions, Tantra has become really popular over the last few years in Western societies. Without trying to reduce Tantra to a “formula”, It involves looking deeply into each others eyes and souls, making a deep emotional and spiritual connection with your partner, and really focusing on each others bodies in a slow and very deliberate way. The technique builds the mind suspense, energy awareness, and muscle tightness in the body, resulting in incredible releases of energy.

It’s true that this is a technique that needs to be learned, and then practiced. I’ve known a few yoga practitioners who swear that Tantric Sex is the most brilliant outcome of the mind focus and body suppleness that the regular application of yoga brings. If you want to create an amazing fireworks display, then you first need to learn how to light a match, and then how to keep that match lit whilst you play with many fireworks of assorted shapes and sizes and work out which ones give the most colourful display when lit!

It may take several weeks or months of practice to become proficient. After all, lighting matches needs to be practiced in the light, in the dark, during windy periods, and in oxygen poor places. It can take many attempts to ensure you can light the match in just the right way, every time. And keeping that fire going once lit is the most important skill needed – you can’t let the fire die out. You may even decide to try different matches or touch paper occasionally – to test the combustion properties of different combinations…

I might be simplifying here – but hopefully you’re getting the idea. You could think about this experimentation and practice as a way to get the most bang for your buck! If normal sex represents a few fireworks on the front lawn (some of which are fizzers), then tantric sex represents a bonfire – with sparklers as an entree, rockets for snacks, and truly big bangs for a main course! And everybody likes a good fireworks show, with or without a BBQ!

Tantra may help to defrost any barriers in your relationship, and it may allow you to fuse your desire and thoughts with deep love for each other – resulting in a closeness that was previously unmatched. That deep connection and care for each other can produce incredibly powerful orgasms, which act as amazing physical rewards for each of you.

If you want to get a head start (so to speak) on Tantra, then it’s important to get the right advice when you’re starting out. Tantric sex is designed for couples – but it’s also got applications for self-love. Yes, you can use Tantra principles to get a deeper connection with your own soul and body!

On my local event finding website, there are public classes offered in Tantra almost every weekend – although they seem to be very expensive. Mind you, if Tantric Sex brings such deep connections and earth-shattering sexual pleasure, then how can you really put a dollar value on that?

Tantra may not be for everyone. Just like some puppies have anxiety attacks and shudder at the mere sight or sound of fireworks, some people are going to be like that trying Tantra. Anything new takes time to get accustomed to. So take your time, and don’t force your feelings – or the feelings of others.

Go out now and light some sexual fires. Lighting fires is fun. It might take you some time to become a fire master, but the results are definitely worth it!