Introvert Dating Tips

Dating can often seem impossible, especially if you’re an introvert and not used to putting yourself out there. Dating means putting your heart on the line, and committing to a time investment and hard work too. You may have to date a number of people to find that meaningful connection you need.

If you find dating difficult, or you’re an introvert, you might find the following advice to be useful. I call it “five pathways to fun” (but then I would, because I’m an extrovert)!

One: date in places where your hobbies and interests can be met, and where you can be yourself. You can get to know people over time this way, in a safe and non-pressurized environment. Your mutual hobbies and interests should make it easier for you to start conversations with others, alleviating the need for small talk and awkwardness. Over time this will build your self confidence. You don’t need to go to bars or clubs to find love – and sometimes they’re best avoided anyway.

Two: be prepared to experience trials and errors when dating, and expect that your heart may be broken once or more. Love is a fairy tale, and on any journey to love you may experience speed bumps. These can sometimes help you to improve your approach or outlook. For example, if you’re introverted you might internalize your thoughts and feelings. Relationships require you to communicate with your partner, so learning that skill, albeit with some pain, will hold you in good stead for any future relationships.

Three: have honest conversations. Show from the outset exactly who you are. Be authentic and have depth in your discussions, and don’t make stuff up just to try and impress others. Have difficult conversations if you need to, as these can help you both to assess your mutual chemistry, as you work through things together. Let your new partner know that you’re willing to work on any issues found, and that you’ll always be honest with them – and responsive when they text or call you. Don’t worry about being classed as clingy or desperate by responding quickly to texts… instead view this quick response as showing respect to your partner. Enough said!

Four: be selective about who you spend time with. Life is short, and you need to invest time in only the potential partners that you know have the potential to suit you, and perhaps your friends and parents too. If you have any doubts up front, then don’t waste their time or yours by going further. You don’t need to create any conflict. Just explain that you don’t believe the relationship would work for you, and move on. Don’t settle with second best just because you’re afraid to be alone. That’s a classic dating error!

Five: keep an open mind when dating. Be prepared to compromise with any partner, especially if they’re different to you – e.g. you’re quiet and they’re loud; or you like cuddling on a sofa and they like going out to dance clubs. Respect each other’s boundaries, and each other’s wishes too. Even if misunderstandings happen occasionally, there’s no reason why you can’t resolve things together and have a happy and long term relationship!

Feel free to drop me a line anytime to let me know how you’re dating is going, and mention any questions you have. Dating Dave can help!