When is a guy prepared to settle down? The solution isn’t always clear. I am a recovered louse who wised up into a thing that is great. But I regularly hear about other peoples relationship debacles. And based on these stories, I understand the challenge to locate a quality man who needs something serious is real. Yes, girls, it’s hard to find the right man at the right time!

Maybe you have dated casual men. When a woman drops those really fair “Are we on the exact same page?” questions on a man — “Do you want children?” “Why did not your last relationship work out?” — it is clear she does not need to waste a minute more on a man who can not lock it down. I have seen these questions put men on the defensive. But why?

Girls are, needless to say, entitled to honest answers but may I propose asking a distinct set of questions completely, because many guys can’t answer them on the fly. I know lots of young, ambitious men: physicians, writers, entertainers, bankers, programmers. Once they have success — a promotion, or a big break — their world is brilliant. They start to consider settling down. If a man is not fully satisfied with his location, status, or job, he is unlikely to settle down.

If you meet with a man and you need long term love, the chances are you’ll find it. But if your guy is not prepared to give, please do not believe that you are at fault. He may love you, but you must make him a part of your past, if you are not someone he views as a component of his future.