Are you currently seeing someone? Is your sex life all it could be – or does it need improvement? It’s essential that you and your partner get along well generally, and sex is only one small part of that relationship. But sexual closeness ought not be disregarded. Many a relationship has failed due to a lack of sexual closeness or intimacy – don’t let that happen to you. Often there are signs when your sex life needs enhancing – which I’ve highlighted below.

Sign 1: You’re not having sexual relations together at all (when you’ve previously had a good sexual relationship). Not being intimate and personal with your partner is an obvious sign that your sex life needs a makeover. To fix this, it’s paramount to verify why you and your friend are not getting intimate together. Is it due to a relationship issue? Is it due to a waning sex drive? Is it due to financial or family or living area pressures? Working out the likely causes of your lack of intimacy will allow you to more easily fix things. Sometimes the issues are outside your nuclear relationship.

Sign 2: You’re not having enough sex. Do you know how often your partner expects sex in your relationship? Is their sex drive higher or lower than yours? Expectations are important to understand. Your desire to have sex once a month may not satisfy your partner’s expectation of sex every day. You need to talk openly and honestly to each other about your expectations and attempt to find a middle ground. Wishes and abilities to meet the sexual expectations of others can differ from week to week. For example, variables like your working hours, child rearing responsibilities, etc can affect things. Regardless of how busy you feel you are, do make sure that you put aside at least a few minutes every day or second day for closeness / cuddles / kisses / sex to keep things alive and ticking over.

Sign 3: Sex is dull or boring, and not fun any more. If you’re not enjoying sex, you need to change things – because sex should be AMAZING. Get together, try new things (I’m NOT going to provide you with ideas on what these should be – because when a guy and girl get together it’s normally pretty easy to devise new things to do with each other). To keep the spark in your relationship closeness is important. Be honest about what turns you on (this might even include sex toys), and what turns you off. And keep practicing and trying new things until you are having satisfying enjoyable sex together!

Sign 4: You’re starting to sleep alone in different beds or rooms. Maybe it started because your partner snores and you couldn’t sleep. Maybe it started after an argument. However things started, this sleeping alone behaviour is NOT healthy. Make a real effort to get back into a mutual bed together. You can’t find your original closeness if you’re sleeping miles apart (or just rooms apart) from each other. Reacquainting yourself with each others (even just with hugs or cuddles) may help get your relationship back on track. Staying in separate rooms long term will be a death knell. I’ve seen it happen.

If you’re experiencing any of the signs above, don’t get depressed – you CAN fix things, often just by making a few changes to your relationship approach or lifestyle. I wish you the very best of luck in getting your relationship back on track, and experiencing amazing soul-on-fire sexual closeness!

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