When we were teenagers, things were a little different. It was more acceptable for a guy to go up to a girl and ask her out to a movie. Then they’d date for a little while, progress the relationship sexually, and become steady partners. Or, you’d find yourself drunk at your friend’s party and hook up with the girl from third period English class in the bushes.

Casual hookups have always been a thing for teenagers, but now they’re starting to replace gradual dating cycles (which are going the way of the dinosaurs) as the most common way to progress your sex life in high school. While casual hookups are a part of adolescence, the fact that they’re becoming the way to meet a guy or girl is slightly alarming. At a young age, it’s best to enforce healthy dating habits in kids, not simply shrug and let casual hookup after casual hookup after casual hookup define what it means to be in a relationship with someone.

In the case of teenage girls in particular, casual hookups are unhealthy. Society encourages women to be loved by a man, and so they look for any avenue of affection to get that, and will usually find themselves being taken advantage of or being in a pointless relationship. The thing to remember is that hooking up with random guys isn’t a good thing, but neither is investing quickly in a serious relationship. One is a great way to lose all sense of what a healthy relationship is, and the other is a great way to waste a lot of your youth with the same person without exploring.

There is a middle ground to be found, and it is foolish to expect teens to use discretion between the two options or to resist their sexual urges. Ultimately, they make their own mistakes, so all a parent can do is give them this advice and let them loose.