Many guys contact me for advice, and some tell me that they are extremely nervous around women. They have huge anxiety, especially concerning attractive women who they believe are judgmental towards them. Whilst that’s a double standard (because men are definitely judgmental towards women), I understand their dilemma. Years ago I was scared to approach women myself, as I was a larger framed guy, and rejection was always a possibility. Rejections are never great, but I learnt that you’ve got to be brave to find love, and you’ve got to push past the fear.

Personally, I believe these nervous men have anxiety that is totally unnecessary, and counter productive to their happiness. The fundamental reason for this anxiety is that they are creating wrong assumptions in their minds. For example, believing that women who are attractive are conceited about their attractiveness is a very unfair judgement towards women. There are many less attractive women out there that are more conceited than beautiful! If any assumption is believed to be true, then it becomes “gospel” – whether it’s a reality or not! Fear then results. Guys – stop feeding this craziness!

Fear is never a positive thing in relationships of any kind. These nervous men simply need to approach and communicate with women with confidence. Dating Dave’s tested approach is to simply think of women as being another man. I know that sounds a little crazy at first, but most men have no problems talking to another man in normal conversation, even if they’re complete strangers. Approaching a woman with the same mindset overcomes any sexual overtones or assumptions, thus lessening the fear of rejection, the fear of being judged, and other anxiety causing feelings.

We are all human, regardless of our gender – so why not treat everyone as equals? Not only is this approach less threatening to nervous guys, it’s also more comfortable for a woman receiving the approach. If you can approach a girl and talk to her without being overtly sexual, that’s got to be a better starting point for any potential interaction or discussion. By treating the girl in a normal way, you’re also more likely to receive a normal response – and not a hormonal or scared response in which you end up feeling rejected!

This approach works well in any social or work situation, or at a bus stop, or in a bar, or anywhere else that people congregate. It’s non-threatening to both parties. Once you’ve engaged in ANY conversation, you can read the body language given off by the girl to work out if there’s any interest beyond typical chit-chat. That may or may not lead to anything of course, but with each interaction you have you’ll be building more confidence in talking to members of the opposite sex – which can’t be a bad thing. Over time, your more confident approaches will increase your chances of sparking the attraction of a woman you’re talking to. Girls love confident guys!

So guys, dudes, men of the world: Don’t be nervous when talking to girls. Don’t make assumptions of their character based on their looks. Treat the girls as if they’re other guys you’d meet in a day, and you’ll soon become less anxious and start to really enjoy approaching and talking to women.