So you think you found a girl you’d like to court, eh? There’s something about her that appeals to your dreamy ideals of what your perfect lover should be, but you need to seduce her and show her that you are the guy she wants to be with. Well, here’s what you need to do if you’re going to have a shot, but remember that you need to stylize it to what fits you best.

We’ve always been told that you can’t take back a first impression. That is one of the most universally acknowledged truisms in society, and for good reason. Your first impression on this girl is going to be her platform she starts out from with her judgments she makes of you from this point on, so make it count. First, dress to impress. This doesn’t mean you have to wear a suit and tie, or that you have to go buy the trendiest fashion for men. Instead, dress in a semi-proper fashion that shows your individuality. Wear what looks good on you, but that is also a trademark of you at the same time. But the clothes only bring some of your individuality out; you have to bring the rest of your individuality to the clothes. Essentially, wear what works for who you are, and wear it well. Avoid an arrogant approach, but be confident.

Let’s say that you get the date, and now that the seeds are planted, you want to nurture them and help them grow; you want her to fall in love with you. Add something special and romantic to your life early on to make you stand out from any other guy she might be interested in seeing. Only you know what this entails. Even if you aren’t experienced in dating women or being romantic, you know how to be you to the sincerest of your abilities, and that means more than most bouquets and boxes of chocolates.

Once you two are in the full-on romantic phase, you need to continue to foster and grow the friendship between the two of you. You need to know what she likes, what she hates, and what makes her unique. Not only will this make your relationship stronger, you’ll be happier knowing that your love is also your best friend. And should you two split, you’ll still have the ability to keep each other close, and sometimes a good friend with whom you’ve had a long romantic relationship is a very valuable relationship to have. When you can give your lady a person who understands her and loves her, and who will listen to her and help her out when she needs it, she’ll have a very strong bond to you that will make you bring out the best in her. That foundation of friendship is what separates normal, passing relationships from strong ones that last for years.

To develop this friendship, you need to show her respect. Don’t think of her as just a woman- think of her as the thing that brightens your day when it is at its worst. Don’t push the sexual aspect of your relationship. Though this is important, it is not the foundation of it, and any relationship that revolves around that will fail in short time. You don’t need to always be all over her to show her that you love her and find her attractive. You can do that by simply telling her that. But she is a human being, and still desires to be touched, just like you do. This is especially important in the early courtship. She needs to know that you’re interested in developing a relationship with her, not just touching her. Don’t force your way into intimacy. Instead, show her that you respect her and that she is worth getting to know before you cross that sacred boundary. It sounds cliché and fluffy, but it’s true, and she’ll respect the hell out of you for it.

The important thing is to be a man of your word. When you tell her that you’ll be there for her, that you love her, and that you are her friend, don’t take that for granted and don’t prove yourself to be a liar. Nobody deserves to be led on, especially when they allow themselves to be vulnerable to another person. And if you do love her, you won’t want to take advantage of her. Being genuine in your promises and proving your worth as a companion and as a confidant will shine through- she’ll get the message.

You also need to know that all of these things you do to win her heart will be incredibly beneficial for you as a person who needs to grow. By getting to know her, building dreams with her, and learning what makes both of you who you are, you’ll learn a lot about yourself and find someone who means as much to you as we’ve discussed you’ll be to her. Finding love is one of the most rewarding and exciting adventures you will experience in your life, and I wish you the best of luck in finding and growing that love!