When people begin dating, they often begin to focus on their most loathed body parts and character imperfections, to try to work out ways to make themselves look or feel better. Dating is very much a psychological battle, as you’ll see from my many other articles. It’s true to say that your “defects” may not even be noticed (or cared about) by your date, but still, they’re on your mind huh…

I’ve had battles with weight over the years, so I know what this can feel like. But you’ve just got to get over it and move on. Let’s say you’re a man who’s a little shorter than the average guy. That’s not the end of the world, even though you might think it’s a date turnoff. I know, you feel that if you can’t look your girl in the eye on a date that you can’t compete for her love. That’s rubbish. You see some women like tall men, and some women like short men (just as some women like fat men, some like thin men, and some like average men).

If you’re lacking in an area of your life (e.g. height), then compensate in other areas. You can be the shortest man in the bar, but have the biggest personality. (Or, you can be the thinnest guy in the bar but have the thickest wallet… sorry, forget I said that). Be accepting of who you are and make the most of what you can offer. Be confident (not arrogant). If you don’t make your height or weight an issue, then there’s a good chance the women you date won’t either.

Women love a good sense of humour – so make the occasional joke about your height (or weight) if you’re comfortable with it. Get them to laugh about your “condition”, but not at you. Find some fun by making sure your date knows you’re happy with how you are. Your date will very likely be impressed if she can work out your message without you wanting pity. One joke is enough however – not dozens.

What’s the biggest mistake you can make when it comes to dating? To not even try. Get out there regardless of your supposed “defect” – whether that be body size, body height, baldness, dementia, or genital herpes (um, get that cleaned up first) – and use your charm to meet a partner. When you approach a woman, leave your insecurities behind and focus on what SHE says to you. Be interested in her – that’s a real turn on for guys. Ask her questions about herself, and show her you are genuinely wanting to know her replies and thoughts. Just put a few questions into normal conversation to hold her interest.

In summary, concentrate on your positive elements when dating. How you feel about yourself can directly influence how others feel about you. An alpha-male (which we all can be) has the power to control how a woman feels about you – so don’t leave your dating life to wishes and chance. Take action and enjoy life.

Dating and looking for your perfect match? Find your match at Xpress.com, Amateur Match and Webcam Club.