I’ve recently had first-hand experience with a toxic relationship. It’s not been a pleasant journey, with belittling comments, avoidance of responsibility for their actions, one-sided perspectives, and physical and emotional abuse (to myself and to my friends). It’s not something I would wish on anyone. But what would you do if your former girlfriend or boyfriend asked if you can get back together (a few weeks on)?

Dealing with a former partner who was in a toxic relationship with you can be a difficult and emotionally charged experience. While it can be tempting to consider getting back together with them, it’s important to remember why the relationship ended in the first place and to prioritize your own well-being and mental health. Let’s quickly discuss why toxic relationships are harmful, why it’s important to move on, and what to say if your former partner asks to get back together.

What is a toxic relationship? A toxic relationship is one where there is a significant power imbalance and one partner constantly tries to control or manipulate the other. This can include verbal, physical, or emotional abuse. In toxic relationships, the dynamic is often characterized by a lack of trust, constant conflict, and feelings of insecurity.

Why are toxic relationships harmful? Toxic relationships can have a significant impact on your mental and physical health. They can cause you to feel anxious, depressed, and stressed. If you’ve been in a toxic relationship, you may also have difficulty trusting others or feel insecure in future relationships. Toxic relationships can really affect your self-esteem and self-worth. You may start to believe that you don’t deserve better or that you are responsible for the problems in the relationship. This can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk and further erode your self-esteem.

Why is it important to move on from a toxic relationship? Moving on from a toxic relationship is essential for your well-being and mental health. It allows you to heal from the trauma of the relationship and start anew. When you move on from a toxic relationship, you take back control of your life and start to rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth. You also open yourself up to new opportunities and new relationships that are healthy and fulfilling.

What to say if your former partner asks to get back together? If your former partner from a toxic relationship asks if you can get back together, it’s important to be honest and direct with them. You have the right to prioritize your own well-being and should not feel obligated to rekindle a relationship that was harmful to you.

Here’s an example of what you could say to them: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I have realized that our relationship was not healthy for either of us and I have moved on. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.” It’s important to be firm but respectful in your response. You may also want to consider seeking support from a trusted friend or professional, especially if you have concerns about your safety or feel uncomfortable.

Ultimately, you need to decide what’s right for you, and balance the need to avoid toxicity with your need for company, loyalty, and love. In most cases, the right answer will be to politely say “No thank you”.