Love is a beautiful thing. It brings people together, provides comfort and happiness, and helps to create deep connections. However, when love turns into obsession, it can become a dangerous and toxic situation. Obsession is defined as an intense and unreasonable desire to possess or control someone. It is characterized by a lack of respect for boundaries, an inability to let go, and a persistent fixation on the object of obsession. When love turns into obsession, it can quickly become destructive and harm both the person who is obsessed and the object of their obsession.
There are some warning signs of love turning into an obsession that you should watch out for.
Incessant Communication: If your partner is constantly reaching out to you, checking in, or demanding your attention, this may be a sign that their love has turned into an obsession.
Possessiveness: If your partner becomes jealous or possessive of your time and attention, this may indicate that they are becoming obsessed.
Lack of Boundaries: If your partner begins to disregard your boundaries, such as invading your personal space or making decisions for you, this may be a warning sign of obsession. If your partner starts to abuse your friends or cross any other relationship lines, this is a red warning light – get ready to run away!
Control Issues: If your partner starts to control your life, such as telling you what to wear or who to spend time with, this may be a sign of obsessive behavior. If they tell you that undertaking these activities is “disrespectful to them” don’t be afraid to challenge this. Some obsessed people have over-the-top expectations of others and put themselves at the centre of every situation – even if that situation has nothing at all to do with them. Possessive = obsessive. Be aware!
Stalking You: If your partner begins to follow you, check up on your whereabouts, or monitor your activities, this is a clear sign of obsession and is extremely dangerous.
So, if you’re seeing any of the signs above in your relationship, and you believe that your love has turned into an obsession, what can you do? Clearly, it’s important to take action to protect yourself and others. Here are some tips on how to deal with the situation:
Set Boundaries: Make it clear to your partner what behaviors are not acceptable and establish boundaries that you are comfortable with. If they don’t comply with your boundaries, it may be necessary to limit or end contact with them.
Seek Help: If you are feeling overwhelmed or unsafe, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. The earlier you do this the better. Having other people aware of the situation is a great idea for safety – but they can also help protect you from your partner if needed. If your partner’s behavior is causing you to feel threatened or unsafe, seek the help of law enforcement or a restraining order to keep your partner well away from you and the locations you frequent.
When someone is obsessed, their emotions can become intense and volatile. It is important to approach them with care and understanding, as their behavior may be a result of deeper emotional issues. Here are some tips on how to diffuse anger in someone who is obsessed (from my personal experience):
Remain Calm: It is important to stay calm and not become defensive or hostile.
Listen: Allow the person to express their feelings, and listen to what they have to say without judgment.
Validate Their Feelings: Let the person know that you understand and acknowledge their feelings.
Encourage Them to Seek Help: Suggest that they seek the help of a mental health professional who can help them work through their emotions.
It’s important to be aware of the warning signs of love turning into an obsession, to take action to protect yourself and others, and to approach the situation with care and understanding. Remember, seeking help from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional is always a good idea when dealing with any obsessive behaviors – especially when those behaviors are targeted toward you.