Married men seeking comfort, love, or sex from other women is a topic that has been debated and analyzed for decades. Despite being in a committed married relationship with their spouse (or having left their spouse / being separated from them but still cohabitating in the same house for whatever reasons), some men may find themselves drawn to another woman. This is a more common occurrence than you might think, based on the emails I’ve received.

While this behavior may seem shocking and even baffling, there are a number of reasons why a married man (or a now single man cohabitating with his ex-partner) might “stray”.

A common thinking pattern of men seeking other women is boredom or a lack of excitement in their current relationship. Over time, the spark that initially drew them to their spouse may fade, leaving them feeling unfulfilled and searching for something more. This sense of restlessness may drive them to seek out someone new who they feel will reignite the flame of passion in their lives. Another contribution to “infidelity” is a feeling of entitlement. Some men may believe that they are entitled to a certain level of sexual or emotional gratification, regardless of their marital status. This belief can lead them to seek out additional partners in order to fulfill their desires. (This is especially common for men who seek to be in open relationships or polyamorous relationships, or are narcissistic).

Low self-esteem can also play a role in a married man’s decision to cheat. Some men may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and believe that they need validation from someone other than their spouse in order to feel good about themselves. An affair may serve as a temporary boost to their self-esteem, but it is unlikely to provide the lasting happiness and fulfillment that they crave.

Many women think that straying/affairs/infidelity occurs because men just want sex. That’s not the case in many of these relationships. A man might just be seeking excitement and novelty. The thrill of pursuing someone new and engaging in secret trysts can provide a sense of excitement and adventure that may be lacking. Many men are also looking for emotional fulfillment in an affair. They may feel neglected or unappreciated by their spouse and seek comfort, attention, and affection from someone else. An affair can provide a temporary escape from the challenges and responsibilities of their daily lives and can offer a sense of validation and emotional connection that they may not be receiving at home.

Some men do just want sexual satisfaction. They may be unsatisfied with the level of intimacy or sexual gratification in their current relationship (or may not be having sex with their partner or ex-partner at all) and seek out a new partner who can fulfill their desires. If a guy wants you just for sex, that’s a red flag and it’s a good reason to run away. A guy who wants to build a relationship with you is much better.

Men who “cheat” may exhibit a variety of personality traits, and it is important to note that not all men who cheat display the same behavior patterns. Some common traits of men who cheat may include:

• Lack of Emotional Intelligence: Men who are unable to understand and regulate their own emotions may struggle to maintain healthy relationships and may cheat as a means of coping with stress or emotional dissatisfaction.
  
• Immaturity: Some men may struggle with emotional immaturity and may seek out affairs as a means of avoiding the responsibilities and commitments of a mature relationship.
  
• Risk-taking behavior: Men who engage in risky or impulsive behavior may be more likely to cheat, as they may view the risk and excitement of an affair as a thrill.
  
• Narcissism: Men with narcissistic tendencies may engage in affairs as a means of satisfying their own ego and need for validation and attention.

So, should a woman get involved with a married man? This is a complex question to answer. While some women may find the thrill of a secret affair to be irresistible, it is important to consider the consequences and ethical implications of such a relationship. Getting involved with a married man can bring with it a host of emotional and psychological consequences.

For one, the woman may struggle with feelings of guilt and shame, especially if she knows that the man is married and/or has a family or children. This can lead to a negative impact on her self-esteem and mental health. Additionally, significant damage to all of the people involved is often an outcome. The woman may also find herself at the center of a messy and painful breakup, as the married man may eventually choose to end the affair. This is very common as communication breakdowns occur and the relationship begins to break apart. Where physical hitting or similar occurs, it’s a red flag to either party to run away.

Women must consider the ethical implications of getting involved with a married man – whether that man is still fully married, or is just cohabitating with his previous partner in the same house. Infidelity is a breach of trust in a relationship and can cause significant pain and suffering for everyone involved. By becoming involved with a married man, a woman may be contributing to this cycle of infidelity and causing harm to those who are affected. Dating Dave normally advises against these relationships.

Balance the rewards and risks accordingly before jumping in and finding yourself hurt.