It’s a sad reality that many men fail at online dating. Part of the reason I’m writing my “Dating Dave” blog is to help men (and women) in this very situation. I’m offering lots of free dating advice and tips that over time should sink in and help you to improve your dating techniques. Here’s something to consider: if you’re a guy dating online, brace yourself for the cold reality that you’ll need to WORK at this to make it successful. If you want a date, you need to work hard to get one (or more).

You can’t just send off a few messages to cute girls and expect it all to happen for you. With online dating it is the GIRLS that rule. There are millions of guys competing for their attention, and you are just a needle in a haystack – so you really have to stand out to get noticed. Did you know that the average online dating website is 70% male and only 30% female?

Men fail at dating online generally for one of two reasons: they either overestimate or underestimate themselves. It’s really that simple.

Don’t Overestimate Yourself: Smart guys enjoy school and can talk on all sorts of topics… but in the dating sense, talking and sharing your opinions on every topic with a girl can make you seem arrogant and intimidating – and be a real turnoff. Pretty guys are good to have on a girl’s arm, but not if the guy has the social skills of a bull-frog or is too much into himself to be into anyone else. So if you’re blessed with good looks, be aware of them but don’t make them the essence of who you are. Over intense guys turn girls off too. Don’t get all intense and heated and stalker like too early in the piece – you will scare a girl off faster than you can say “tickity boo”. An example of this is guys asking for cybersex with girls they’ve just met on an online dating site. This turns off girls who are just looking for an honest and sincere guy.

Don’t Underestimate Yourself: Maybe you’ve got a high IQ, some decent social skills, and general personality, but you freeze when confronted with a dating opportunity in real life because you don’t want to be seen as over confident or arrogant. Work on your issues privately – but don’t hide in your shell and retreat when given the opportunity for love! This conservative style will make girls think you are just plain B-O-R-I-N-G, and you should know from reading this blog that girls love F-U-N guys. Get out there, and mix and mingle. Use the online dating profile you’ve read about your date to uncover interesting conversation topics to talk about together.

Keeping everything in balance and as normal as possible should be the aim. You don’t want to come across as an intense axe murderer, a mad but clever professor, or a cyber nerd with no friends. Try to find a middle ground and appeal to as many girls as you can. It’s true that girls love a bit of mystery however – hold a few quirks of your personality back and keep her guessing. May you have many successful dates!

Dating and looking for your perfect match? Find your match at Xpress.com, Amateur Match and Webcam Club.